My dog Oliver

okay, so we have two really cute little dachshunds that have been featured on here before, but your dog takes the cake when it comes to being photogenic, and taking the most adorable pictures ever.

aw lol, my dachschund will kick your dachshunds ass.

impossible. you’re not even a REAL person.

My dachshund’s imaginary, so I can make him as frickin’ awesome as I want. And he doesn’t just kick your dachshund’s ass, John; he kicks yours.

There, now i’m a “real” person.

wait… now. shit.

Caleb not only will I kick your Dachshunds ass. After i’m finished, I will place him into a tiny kennel and sell the little wiener off to Ma Bo Chinese Restaurant so that they can continue to make their excellent recipes such as honey chicken and Mongolian beef at such a low cost.